Dear Ms. Freedman,
Sorry I didn’t write. It’s just I found out the Smucker’s plant is closing down. My dad is being transferred to Piggot, Kentucky, which just happens to be where his jam factory girlfriend (Glenda) was transferred six months ago. According to the brochures, Piggot is famous for hand-carved canoes and Kentucky’s only life-size wax museum. I HATE WAX FIGURES! I screamed, throwing a light fixture at my dad. THEY ALWAYS COME TO LIFE AND TRY TO KILL YOU! According to him, that’s not the point. According to him, he can’t get another job here, unless he works the fields, and his back can’t take that. The worst part is, he wants me to stay here, and live with my fat aunt. He says it’s because I’m already in school here, but I know it’s because Glenda doesn’t want me living with them. So now I get to share a room with my cousin Macy, who is always saying things like, “Planning on growing boobs this year, Janice?” Plus, she is pregnant, so I am also going to be sharing my room with a screaming baby. God. I hate my life. Maybe I could come be your roommate at Bridges. Ha. Ha ha ha ha. Seriously, though, I’d rather live pretty much anywhere than with my aunt.
Cross My Heart & Hope to Die,