following the Eaton Fire
the smell in the air was the sticky agave grit of the mountain
sinister clean desert pumice sweet foliage of dead home
furled rolling paper: gold engraved lighter: our long fingered devil
the sudden click-spark orange creeping stealth of burn
lit end like an open eye an open maw color of day’s finale
smoke and lungs and a terrible red belonging
only rock and sediment know anything real about belonging
what kind of departures are witnessed by the mountain
every beginning a black anticipation of finale
goodbye farewell toodaloo au revoir to the home
made of stone made of steel made of wood will it burn
spall melt combust in the hard oven heart of the devil
don’t think your heart is any different from the devil’s
clinging to the coal pile myth of belonging
shoveling higher and higher but never letting it burn
letting it lava rumble shift remake itself into mountain
is this: this is: no home: oh home: go home
bright blaze smoke’s shadow ashen ring the finale
after cacophony after firework is another quieter finale
called aftermath called smoke clearing called lucky devil
would you look at that can you believe it our home
stiff-backed and gagging on all those belongings
craving hollowness spitting spitting so unlike the mountain
not ungrateful no but if it had just— if it had just burned
say it again: it would have been easier if it had just burned
foolish foolhardy fooling yourself as if there’s only one finale
putting your white suit on to walk up and up the mountain
just to remove your mask and speak clearly to the devil
to tell him how you really feel about your belongings
reeking and unfamiliar laid like a landmine in your home
what makes a home makes you feel at home in your home
little nest of hair and baubles little nest of things to burn
poof gone in the eyes gone in the mind what it is to be longing
for what is right in front of you the unrecognizable finale
drawn out in ongoing endless perpetual deals with the devil
cataloguing your coats your shoes stripped bare as the mountain—
all mixed up equating belongings with home
equating home with mountain equating burn
with finale equating finale with the devil’s work